The BEST Support!

I toyed with the idea of writing this, but I decided that I will.

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Dear Winter Babies mamas,

You are ALL the bomb.com! You are the best friends that I may never meet and my free therapists. I love all of you and am deeply emotionally invested in your lives.

Also, I like to FB stalk you. Just sayin’. 😛

You are the most amazing group of women EVER, and I am so lucky to have found you all. You are all so kind, supportive, non-judging, and honest. I have no idea where I’d be without you.

T, we hope you come back someday. We’re all still here for you, even if you don’t think we are. Good luck.

And thank you, Winter Babies mamas, for being awesome.

Sincerely yours,

Olivia

Friday Night Leftovers (Week 5)

“It’s Friday, Friday, Friday, yeahhh”……FML.

– Noah is 13 weeks old. He is 14 lbs!

– Noah rolled over today!!! I had him on the floor, and he was super close to rolling, so I ran into the other room to grab my phone in anticipation….and of course, when I came back (5 seconds later), he was on his back! I can’t wait until he does it so that I can catch him on film, lol.

– He’s been such a smiley-pants and has really starting “talking” lately. It’s great. And I notice that I’ve become more involved with him now that he’s interacting with me more. Before, he was just a boring blob (just being honest!). A cute, boring blob, though.

– I’ve been seeing a therapist for the last few weeks for my postpartum depression. She told me yesterday that my depression is “complex”….I have a combination of postpartum depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and grief. The last two are basically from Noah’s birth and how everything didn’t happen the way it’s supposed to. Honestly, I’m not surprised.  So now we have to work through everything and see how much of my depression is because of which problem (does that make sense? It’d be like, 75% PTSD, 15% grief, 10% PPD, for example…..although it won’t be that specific, lol). Plus she’s talking with the child psychiatrist that they have on staff and hooking me up with the adult team, to see what I should be doing….I think that she’s leaning towards meds. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I want to be happy again, but at the same time, I don’t want the meds to be a first resort, and I don’t want to be a robot. We’ll see how things go.

– I’m starting a work out plan. It’s actually been sitting in my drafts since Wednesday….once I get around to taking “before” shots of myself and doing my measurements, I’ll back-date it and post it. So watch out for that!

– I went out for games night tonight. Now I’m home and I feel like shit. Was it the 2 glasses of wine? brownie? pineapple? coming down with something? All I know is I feel bleeehhh-y. I had a Tum….I reaaally hope that helps.

[Editor’s Note: It occured to me that maybe it’s my period. This would actually make sense. I got sniffley out of nowhere (I always get a cold with my period), and I don’t really remember what cramps feel like, but I think I’m having them. Fml. If it is my period, this will be the worst one I’ve ever had.]

– While driving home, I felt totally B.A. because I successfully pointed out a ghostcar to myself….hehehe.

– Aaaand for those who may be wondering, Nyana is doing awesome. Her surgery got pushed from Tuesday to Thursday (booo!!), but she’s recovering well! If you’d like to hear the full low-down, here’s the post her mother wrote about the surgery.

Want more leftovers? Check out the host here.

Before I Was A Mom…

I actually wanted to write a post like this for awhile, but my friend D beat me to it 😛

Here are 10 things that I thought that I’d never do as a mom, or things I didn’t expect….

1. Co-sleeping. I totally never thought that I’d co-sleep. I thought that it would be 3 months in the bassinette, then BAM in the crib. I don’t co-sleep every night or all night, but I do it occasionally. And here we are 3 months old and just starting to crib train..

2. Breastfeeding difficulties. I expected SOME difficulties, but I assumed that by month 1 we’d be in the clear. Honestly, I’m at the point of giving up. The kid just eats WAY too much.

3. Meds for breastfeeding. I had no idea they even existed until I wanted to take them. I also never thought that pumping would be for anything else but getting a freezer supply.

4. “Mom-tired”. I thought that I’d be able to handle little sleep well. I underestimated the level of tired I would be, however. I call it, “mom-tired”. It’s NOTHING like when you go out to the bar and come home at 4 am. Some days it feels like I never went to bed at all. And the funny thing is, Noah is a good sleeper. I probably would have gone off the deep end by now if he was colicky.

5. How many friends would drop off the face of the Earth. It makes me kind of sad, but at the same time, it’s a good thing. Those people were obviously not my real friends anyway. Plus I’ve made better, new friends.

6. How long it’s taken me to love that little face. Maybe naively, I expected a bit of a Kodak/Hallmark moment when Noah was born. I expected to cry. Nope. I was too worried about him not breathing to cry about it. Then later, after his drama settled and we got used to being at home with him, I wondered how long it would take me to feel that deep connection to him. It’s still coming. I love him, but I don’t think I feel that “in love” feeling that mothers are supposed to feel. My PPD may play a part in that, but we’re working on it.

7. How little I get accomplished. The days run away from me far too often.

8. My body. Oh lordy, lordy. I didn’t think that my body could get any worse…..turns out stretch marks are not “cute”, lol.

9. How I could run even more late than normal. It used to be that I could usually get somewhere 5 minutes early. Now 10 minutes late is considered “on time” for me. I’m terrible at managing my time efficiently.

And finally….

10. How awesome mom groups are. With my new identity, I need new friends with the same identity, so I turned to mom groups. I quite enjoy them….although sometimes I feel incredibly awkward when I meet women who I think would make good mom-friends….it’s like I’m dating again 😛

 

Love For Nyana!

My friend Karen and I met back in April, when we first found out we were pregnant and joined the December 2010 birth club on BabyCenter.

Her daughter, Nyana Rose, decided that ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH, and she made her way into the world on September 20th, 2010, at 27 weeks gestation.

Diagnosed with cystic lung disease, Nyana’s been in the NICU ever since, and TODAY, Nyana is having surgery to get a g-tube (feeding tube) put in, so that she can worry about breathing and healing her lungs without having to worry about eating. This surgery will put her even closer to finally seeing her walking papers, and personally I cannot wait until I read the words, “She’s home”. In fact, I just teared up thinking about it.

At 11:30 this morning (BC time), Nyana gets her surgery. So I hope that today, your thoughts and prayers will be with her!

I know mine will!

Thank you!

Nyana ❤

 

♥ Olivia, Caleb, and Noah ♥

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To read more about Nyana’s journey, click here. 🙂

Happy 3 months, Noah!

Noah is now three months old!

This month:

– Noah is 13lbs, and 24.5 inches long.

– Noah LOVES his swing

– Noah was babysat by someone other than family 😮

– His grasp and upper body tone has improved! 😀

– He is likely going to get double diapered instead of splints or casts for his hip dysplasia  (but that’s still uncertain). Yay!

– The OT/PT noted that he has made progress since last month 🙂

– He’s still not rolling, but he’s close when he gets mad.

– He hasn’t started crib training yet, but we’ll be starting it really soon. Attempt #1 at him just hanging out in his crib while I was cleaning his room kind of failed….but I think he was just in a bad mood to begin with.

– His left eye is kind of slow in following his right eye. Apparently babies aren’t 100% in tune yet though, so it’s just something to observe, but not worry about yet.

My favorite things:

– The little cooing sounds he makes. (“Ahgooo”, “Mahhhh”, “Uhhhh”)

– The time between when he first wakes up and when he starts crying…..he smiles at me, stretches, more smiles, shows off his chubbiness, etc. It’s soo cute!

– If he’s fussing for me, Caleb will pick him up and Noah will calm right down. He loves his daddy 🙂

– When we have nurse visits, he’ll look at me talking instead of them sometimes.

– That he’s such a good sleeper! He’ll go to bed between 10:30 pm – midnight, and wake up between 6 – 9 am.

This is Noah on his 3 month birthday:

🙂 ❤

Friday Night Leftovers (Week 4 – kind of)

Ok, so I’m been a total stranger to FNL the past few weeks…..it seems like Fridays kind of sneak up on me….I start off the day thinking, “Oh, it’s Friday, I better write a FNL post today”, and then it goes to, “Oh, it’s suppertime, I better get on that post”, to, “I’m soo tired, I’ll do it tomorrow”, and finally, “Oops, it’s Monday…. I might as well wait until Friday rolls around again”. IT’S A VICIOUS CYCLE!

But finally, I’ve broken it….kind of. This post will show up as Saturday, but JUST KNOW that I started it on Friday, lol. I tried.

– I went out for St. Patty’s Day last night. Good lord. I think I might have to do a whole separate post on that….I’m on the downstairs computer, and the pictures are on the upstairs computer. Yes, that is Uninteresting Fact #7373, haha.

– I don’t get hangovers. That is a lucky thing passed on by my father (is it genetic?)…..my mother, however, gets terrible hangovers. So only time will tell which side my sister will follow. Today I was really tired and kind of headache-y, but nothing too crazy. I dunno, I don’t know what a legit hangover feels like, but I think they’re supposed to be worse than that….lol.

– My friend came over today, and we rehashed last night. Am I the only one who finds reliving a night almost as fun as living it? My drunken shenanigans just make me laugh. I’ll get more into it in my aforementioned separate post, but just know: I’m kind of a kleptomanic asshole when I’m drunk. Yeah, just let that sink in.

– I love Jersey Shore. I don’t care what anyone says, I am a fan. I like living vicariously through people still making drunken stupid decisions 🙂

– Noah is 3 months old tomorrow! Holy hell. I will be posting a “3 month” post along with pictures. Is it weird that I totally look forward to when he turns a certain month, so that I can take pictures of him with a sign picture? lol..

– We had a meeting with Early Intervention on Monday. Nothing really to report, but the woman noticed that Noah’s left eye doesn’t quite keep up with the right eye at times, especially when he’s tired. Sigh. I hope he’ll grow out of it, but it sucks that there’s yet another thing that we may have to deal with later.

– No word yet on his hip dysplacia treatment. We have a meeting with occupational therapy and physiotherapy on Tuesday, so I’m hoping that they’ll have something new to share.

– I’d like to wish my lovely friend Mrs. B a big “GOOD LUCK” on Tuesday. Her daughter is having surgery. My thoughts are with you, K! 🙂 ❤

Want more leftovers? Check them out here.

St. Patty’s Day – a.k.a. “The Drunken Express”

So I went out for St. Patty’s Day on Thursday. This is my 3rd legal SPD, and the first one that I’ve been able to get drunk, so I pretty much needed to make up for that.

And oh boy, did I ever!

My friend N picked me up, and we started the night in her car in the college dorm parking lot waiting for our friend to come home so that we could pre-drink in her dorm. Classy. At this point it was 10, so we really needed to get a head on things!

We went to the college bar at around 10:30. It was great, I saw a ton of people that I knew, and not going to lie, it was cool walking through the bar and for people to yell, “OLIVIA!” at me. I was like Norm from Cheers 😛 haha.

This song was stuck in my head all day, and I ended up singing it while waiting in line for a drink:

A guy in front of me was singing a Paulo Nutini song….cool!

My friend M was in the front of the line at the bar, and she says, “Olivia, I’m buying you a shot! Give me your money”, LOL. She bought my drink for me, so I saved 10 minutes of line time! Yay!

Then N and I migrated to another bar, across the street from the college. We stood in line for less than half an hour to get in (I was impressed…..I’ve waited an hour and a half there before), and they didn’t ID me. I still feel cool when that happens…..I’m sure I’ll miss getting ID’d when I’m 30, but for now I think it’s awesome that the doormen remember who I am, LOL.

Anyway, the bar was awesome, as per usu. I stole decorations because I turn into a major klepto when I drink……no idea why. I also decided that stealing abandoned drinks was a good idea too. Sigh. Apparently I have no boundaries once I hit a certain point.

N’s brother got into a fight in the parking lot. A less-drunk me would have ran right inside and grabbed a bouncer, but instead I just stood there and watched.

I told Caleb that I would be home by 1, but by the time I looked at my phone to check what time it was, it was 2:45 am. OOPS.

So N, K, 2 random guys, and I walked back to the dorms. I still have no idea why…I could have saved myself a lot of walking by getting into a cab in front of the bar. But whatever. One of the guys gave me cab fare, sooo I saved myself $20 by walking that far, lol.

I also managed to skin my knee a bit (N told me today that I wiped out in the parking lot). N and I switched shoes on the way home since I was unable to walk in my heels. I seriously never learn with those things. I bought them specifically for my birthday (all of my heels are too small for me now….boo pregnancy 😦 ), and as soon as I get drunk I am completely unable to walk in them, and they fall off my feet. I do remember walking barefoot in snow a few times (sigh). I woke up this morning with sore feet, and I hoped that I didn’t get frostbite! (I didn’t).

Then for the GRAND FINALE, I completely forgot the code to our front door. Seriously. I have lived here for a year and I completely couldn’t remember it. Say our code was, “4589”, I was typing in “8702” four times in a row. It made an incessant beeping sound, and I was scared that it would call the cops, so I called Caleb to let me in…lol. It turns out that it doesn’t actually call the cops, it’s just a keypad, haha. Oops.

I wore cutlet boob insert things last night, and I managed to lose them 😦 . I had taken them off and put them in my purse, and they fell out somewhere. But I managed to not lose my ID, SIN card, or debit card. Go me?

Also, as a result of my kleptomania, I came away with: a “Kiss Me I’m Irish” sign, an Alexander Keith’s shirt, a shamrock shaped straw, a green fedora, 2 cups from the bar, a “Happy St. Patty’s Day” sign, as well as numerous shamrocks that were on a string. Seriously. I love how I managed to get all that crap home.

Today I was really tired, and had a mild headache, but it was nothing to write home to mom about. Then N came over, dropped off my booze, and we discussed the night. I find that’s one of my favorite parts of going out: reliving the night with your fellow drunken cohorts.

Overall, I had a great night. I didn’t make TOO big of an asshole out of myself, I didn’t throw up, I got home in one piece…..so, yes, I’ll count it as a success 🙂

Here are the pictures I took. I’m sad that I didn’t take more, but I distinctly remember not being able to figure out the flash on my camera, so maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t. 😛

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