Give Your Head A Shake

I am so pissed off right now. I am a part of a group that is about “informed birth” and is also the “human milk 4 human babies” (the group that got me donor milk!) main page. I am there for the HM4HB aspect.

I just am so completely different then seemingly all of the women on there. They are anti-vaccine, pro-extended breastfeeding (3 years +), pro-homeschooling/”unschooling”, anti-circumcision, anti-hospital and anti-doctor. I am so completely opposite from them that it is driving me crazy.

I am leaving the page tomorrow, simply because of the judgement. I am EVIL because I support hospitals during labor/delivery. I was told to “watch my tone” because I spoke of hospitals being necessary in certain scenarios.

I would have been a PERFECT candidate for homebirth, but I am thankful every day that I gave birth in a hospital, because that hospital SAVED Noah’s life. The time spent waiting for the ambulance and traveling to the hospital would have killed him.

They go on and on about how some of their births didn’t go the way they wanted; they ended up with a cesarean, or the doctor was a bit too rough with them, or whatever. Guess what, you ended up with a healthy baby!

You may be “traumatized” by your birth, but seriously, get the eff over it. It’s been over 10 years for a few of them, and they are still pissed off because things didn’t go the way they wanted.

In the grande scheme of things, it doesn’t matter HOW that baby got out into the world, the only thing that matters is that it is HEALTHY.

I delivered vaginally, sweet…..who the eff cares? I am one of millions of women who have a vaginal birth every single day. I would gladly trade a scar across my belly for a healthy baby. We can get over birth trauma, some babies cannot.

One woman said that her birth “trauma” (cesarean) 16 years ago has caused attachment issues with that baby. Are you for real? That is all in your head! GET OVER IT. Your baby is fine, why do you need to complain about it? It’s like they are all a bunch of spoiled little teenagers whining because their mom didn’t get them the toy they wanted from the right store when they were 4 years old. You still got the toy, right? Then stop complaining about it.

I HATE people like this. I love HM4HB, but I hate those that take their views to the extreme so that people like myself feel like outsiders and also feel constantly attacked and belittled.

Give your head a shake and realize how AWESOME you have it. So you didn’t get the birth you wanted. Get over yourself, that perfectly healthy child you have doesn’t care how he got brought into the world, he’s just glad he’s there without any issues.



3 thoughts on “Give Your Head A Shake

  1. I want to join this group just to tell them all about the perfect pregnancy and the perfect midwife assisted homebirth and the perfect breastfeeding experience and the perfect amazing first days and months after birth… tell them about all of those things that I didn’t get. Everything about pregnancy and childbirth is nothing more than a means to the end, and if you got a healthy child then shut your face. Glad you’re leaving the group. They sound like whacks.

  2. I sat in a room of these type of mothers, one was breastfeeding her 4 year old (seriously i am thinking the kid had permanent teeth). I was nursing my little boy (4 months or so) at the time. There where these three woman, talking about how one of their children got measles. Here’s the clencher, they were all mad at this other mother they know because she got her new baby his immunizations. They were completely convinced that their kids (who were not immunized – because immunization are a ploy from the government to create a new generation of kids with autism – yeah that’s sound logic), had contracted measles from this new baby who has just received his first set immunizations. They all looked at me cross eyed, and quite peaved when I piped in and said, “you do realize that they don’t get the MMR vaccine until they are 12 months old.” You know misinformation can be more dangerous that a lack of information. Why is that some mothers/woman feel the need to “compete” for the most natural birth, or breastfeeding experience? The truth is, when I had my emergency C-Section I too felt ripped off. But the fear of my baby being in danger, and the relief that washed over me when I heard his first cry really made my loss of the birth I wanted completely insignifigant. I was fortunate enough to have a VBAC for my daughter but, after watching Noah in his fight to survive against all odds, my outlook has changed. Even with teams of the best doctors doing everything possible, he almost didn’t make it. I’m pretty sure if I ever happen to have any more kids, I will opt for a c-section on my due date, or just before. What is a vaginal birth worth… if it could cost your baby his/her life? Here is what I have to say to those who judge you: “Natural is not better – it’s a different choice – it’s each mother’s to make. Please do not make those mothers who choose differently than you feel like they are less for doing so.” I agree with you Olivia – sometimes there is no reasoning with some people, and it is best to just let them be, and choose to walk away.

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